Journey to India

Indian people, by their own account, are deeply motivated by desire for social status. Status is everything. If a man or woman is broke, and they currently enjoy the status of say, bank clerk, they would not in a thousand years stoop to serving tea in a tea stall. Who I am seen with, what I wear, what shop I buy my things in all count. What really counts is where I live. It doens't matter if it's humble, it's the address that counts. If I present an address at a bank or post office or optician that is considered a premium location (such as the address of the friend whose flat I have been living in) I immediately get respect and admiration.  This is rooted in the feudal caste system, among other things, so in today's economic climate it becomes a matter of both caste and class. It's an incredibly deep snare to get caught in.

Keeping up appearances is paramount. To do so, it is quite acceptable to lie, at least in amounts so that no one can check up on you. People lie so that they can save face and appear successful and happy. It doesn't matter much whether they are happy or successful... e.g. they could have a job in a prestigious firm, but it would never do to share with anyone that your boss humiliated you daily. To say that you have drunk a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label gives status as opposed to some cheap Indian scotch. I will be traveling by train soon. I took 2nd class AC (air conditioned) because that's all I could book on short notice, would have settled for the 3rd class especially if my kids were here as we would have saved a lot of money, but I get a lot of approval because I am taking a higher class. It would not do for a "lady" of my status to go share a berth with the common folk. I have of course done so all my life, especially our 2006 trip.

I can't get used to it. I have lived too long in the west to get used to the idea that these stratifications are a must. I look in people's eyes for signs of life, signs of commonality, understanding, signs of recognition and connecdtion that transcend all this status stuff. It happens from time to time. Looking in people's eyes for too long, especially into the eyes of men is not a good idea as it might seem to be a come on. But I get off the hook to a large extent because I have grey hair,. and am not a likely candidate for sex object. When I can, I like looking into people's eyes. I often smile, and that breaks the tension.  I make that connection briefly, politely, without  being intrusive. That's how I can be here and not distance myself from everyone based on my clothes and foreigner look. My foreignness is itself a status symbol. I have come from the west and the ultimate power that I have in status world is my ability to leave this place which is impossible to live in sanely and impossible to leave; for most people here.